Immortal Peace

(credits to the owner of the photo)

Suicide has been since a malign of humans, the final option of people who lose hope or those who want to save themselves from public humiliation. The people who commit this act were so easily judged and, if you are a sympathetic being, at the same time, easily mourned. But there are always some reasons why people cut their own mortal life. These reasons, no matter how common, matter greatly to the people who perceive suicide as their final salvation.

No matter how hard we try to understand their reasons we will never truly understand. We can try but we will only be fooling ourselves. We can claim that we understand their underlying reasons but our interpretation can be far, far, faraway from their own. So it’s better not to claim anything so as not to disrespect the departeds’ souls.

Suicide is such a broad and deep subject that to tackle it you will find yourself confused and doubtful of your own logic. With this statement I will only share my personal perspective or thoughts about the subject. There will be those against my opinion but, the heck, we are all entitled to have our own.

I do not believe in suicide’s portrayal of hope but then I do not condemn the people who committed this. I do not patronize suicide but maybe there is something about this that others find comforting. Maybe suicide is their own personal buoy so they will not fall into the depths of mortal tragedies. In other words, suicide is their way of saving themselves from further sins and public judgement.

Then there are people who just felt that they already reached their end of the line, that their journey has come to an end but the problem is, they are still alive. It’s not losing reason to live but it was more like they already did the end of their bargain. They felt that they already accomplished their purpose to live. And that my friends, is something only they can know, feel and, understand.

Let us not label them as weak, we do not have the slightest idea how hard they fought their growing urge to end their life.

Let us not label them as selfish, maybe they did it because it is their way of no longer burdening their loved ones with their personal dilemma.

Let us not be the ones to judge because we are nothing better compared to them.

Let us learn to respect and hope that they will finally find the immortal peace they tried so hard to grasp in their mortal lives.

(credits to the owner of the photo)

*In memory of Chester Bennington

The Irrelevance of Excessive Consciousness


Existence and consciousness are two real aspects of human beings. So real that these two are too fragile to be left unchecked and too dangerous to be left on their own. In my own perception, without the scientific basis and theories, these are the two basic DNA of a person’s identity. You see while I was having mainstream coffee in an overrated coffee shop surrounded by tasteless coffee junkies I had a revelation, though this revelation may not have a scientific bearing still I somehow believe that my revelation made sense. Please excuse my mundane vocabulary and please forgive my arrogant, ignorant tone but it came to me that when a person has high regards for her consciousness she might also have a greater grasp of her own existence. The logic behind this is simple, if you are not aware of your consciousness, this includes your surroundings and your whole being and basically your every day life, this implies that you have no direction towards your planned life BUT if you are fully aware of your daily life, from your basic routine to your most random act you will at least have a direction of your life. And as we all know if you have direction you have something to hold on to whenever you feel like you took the wrong road towards your “Emerald City.” Without the personalized direction you paved for yourself you might and will eventually lose your meaning of life, your existence. And this, my online friends, will lead to self-destruction.

Mirage in the Desert

But with the intoxications that surround our every day life it will be too easy to lose both. It will be too easy to lose our identity and our direction. We can be easily consumed by the cheap, shallow, materialistic temptations of modern society. The social media sites that we are all addicted to or at least we all rely on nowadays are filled with pretentious, apathetic people and fabricated information. These online sites also present a blurred distinction between Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs thus taking advantage of human’s already frail reasoning.

What seems to be a harmless exposure to the trends in the community may as well be like a mirage in the desert. Social media sites may present themselves as helping tools that will bring people closer to one another, and to keep the people informed and updated trends, and current affairs of the society but in reality these expose harsh gullibility of people.

Simplicity in an Excessive World

In a world like ours where living a simple life has been more challenging it is becoming a necessity for each individual to learn how to cope up with the ever evolving consumer society we live in. Due to the global economic fluctuations people are now rediscovering the beauty of living frugally. There are now circumstances where people, those who are living even in first-world countries, are forced into a corner to live the frugal life and through this people may slowly inherit or learn again the values that are associated with it.

Throughout the centuries man’s greatest minds have found a link between living a simple life and being a better person. It takes great discipline and perseverance to withdraw from all the material temptations that normally come in with the evolution of mankind.

But we may also find the answer in the evolution of mankind, the very reason why we all clamor for material evidence of our economic growth. Through our evolution we will encounter several life-changing decisions that will have a severe impact on the interconnectedness of human life. These decisions may and will direct us toward the improvement or destruction of our world. If we go to the direction towards destruction then through this fault we will learn how to live a simple life again. But then again, we are still humans and so are future generations, the thirst for something more, for something grand will never subside.

FIGARO 112916



From across the universe you called my restless soul

From an endless wandering called life, you halted my desperate search for meaning

All these infectious lies and distorted reality doomed by my imaginary black hole

Inside my black hole there was you, you who made me feel alive

More alive than the blooming flower rained upon by the morning dew

You’re a shining supernova

You’re a newborn star to my dying universe


You let me read your obscure personality

You let me pull you out of your own swirling mud of unsung promises

You let me be your own dose of ecstatic bliss

You let me be your own medication

We built our own youthful glory

We ran into the night and gutted the frightening reality of our might

We were one

We were infinite


Maybe I was blinded by you

Maybe I let your glaring beauty envelop my reason

Maybe every thing was too much for us to grasp

We were still together

But I was afraid we were no longer on the same course

A lone mass of blackness

A sulfuric scent of an unwanted being off-coursed your vision

You brought disease to my flawless system

You brought me heart sore and inflated, made-up promises

I was hurting while you were building someone else’s universe

But I was still there

And you came back

We still believed


We came back to our made-up universe

We returned beneath the glimmering sky of sun shine

We embraced our world of doubts and new promises

Inconsistencies cloud our once clear course towards us,

Towards our infinity

We fought the shadows of our wounded past

We suppressed the unnerving psychology of trust and rebuilt

 I am still your unpolished golden lamp

And you are still my perfect imperfect sunshine

Wasp Wannabe

Stieg Larsson’s Millenium novels; when I saw his latest novel I didn’t think twice on buying it!
Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander (English version) Photo source:

With her dyed jet black hair, her smoky-black eyeliner laden eyes, her pale skin and skinny as hell body every one can mistake her as a school rat, a rebel without a cause, a girl who knows nothing but to do drugs and have sex. BUT if you look closely at her striking eyes you will feel that that this girl has an in-depth, unconventional understanding of our fucked-up society. I am talking about Lisbeth Salander, the antihero, feminist protagonist of Stieg Larsson’s four Millennium novels.


She is my ideal female protagonist because she is not a damsel in distress nor a sucked-up lady obsessed with female-ish stuff (Pink, unicorns and all), she is not dependent on any man (or woman) and she is one smart and highly-skilled woman. She has astounding hacking skills and she is known in the hacking world as The Wasp. She has an exceptional talent in keeping her identity a secret, she has a photographic memory (which I wished I also have), she fights for women and children who were abused by the male-driven society, and she has the allure to make both men and women awkwardly attracted to her.
Photo source:

The first time I read the book, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo the first time I read about The Wasp and the first time imagined Lisbeth’s appearance I slowly got hooked into her mysterious personality. I was slowly mesmerized by her dark charisma, I was slowly enthralled by her enigmatic intelligence.

She did have a dark and troubled childhood but her experiences did not detracted her from being sane and pursuing justice for her and for the people victimized by villainous corporations and soulless people. She fought for justice in her own ways, she fought in ways she thinks will do more harm to these abusive, exploitative “superpowers.”

I always imagined myself to have super skills in hacking just like hers. Imagine having access to all those information, imagine having that kind of power at the tip of your hands. With a simple gadget  such as a laptop, reliable internet connection, your wit, and your fearlessness to discover the unknown and readiness to reveal those dirty secrets being kept by selfish conglomerates and individuals around the world you can actually fight these villains. Lisbeth Salander proved to me that you do not need superhuman strength and you do not need to be a product of some scientific research or experiment to be a hero. I know every realistic person knows this but what made Lisbeth more appealing to me is the fact that her character perfectly fits in our world today. With the globalisation process at its all time high, the exploding information dump in the internet, and the rampant hackings of government websites it is not impossible to actually think that a certain Lisbeth Salander is out there working her arse off to expose dirty politics and businesses.

Even though she has access to the world’s sensitive and crucial information she never reveals any of it WITHOUT a justifiable and strong reason. Maybe that’s it, the another thing that made me adore Lisbeth Salander a.k.a The Wasp is that she does not solely fight for the gospel truth. She is ready to bend the social norms if needed to fight the injustices of our system.  

The Wasp Photo source:

Ground Control to Major Tom

Processed with VSCOcam with e7 preset
Inspirations to get me thru this “overhaul”

After 2-3 years hiatus I finally decided to go back to the thing that helped me get through some major changes in my life. I decided do go back to writing, reading and to listening to music. These three things may sound too “mainstream,” too common but these three things made me realize a thing or two about human’s fragility to love and collectively, about life. It dawned upon me that for me to find myself again and to be inspired I need, I have to go back to these three essential things.

I felt I lost the motivation to live and to laugh. Oh no, I did not think about taking my own life. I just felt I lost the reason to live, that’s all. I no longer felt that urge that fuelled up my emotions so I can compose poems, essays and even short stories. Before, I can compose such write-ups without any hang-ups. I can even make a story out of a lifeless, formless tin can but lately even the most vibrant of sceneries can not make me write even a short poem. I tried but it didn’t feel quite right. I felt something was missing. I felt that what I wrote was a fabrication of something else. It was like someone else wrote it.

Yes, a fabrication. See? It was a fabrication, a reflection of what was or, maybe, still going on inside my mind. I want to go back to my old self when I can just stare into nothingness, listen to independent music and just write down all my emotions and every thing that I see  on a paper without doubting my inner self.

So I hope this first entry will be the start of a new and better journey.

P.S. I am truly excited to do this again!