The Irrelevance of Excessive Consciousness

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Source: http://www.criatives.com.br/2012/08/33427/

Existence and consciousness are two real aspects of human beings. So real that these two are too fragile to be left unchecked and too dangerous to be left on their own. In my own perception, without the scientific basis and theories, these are the two basic DNA of a person’s identity. You see while I was having mainstream coffee in an overrated coffee shop surrounded by tasteless coffee junkies I had a revelation, though this revelation may not have a scientific bearing still I somehow believe that my revelation made sense. Please excuse my mundane vocabulary and please forgive my arrogant, ignorant tone but it came to me that when a person has high regards for her consciousness she might also have a greater grasp of her own existence. The logic behind this is simple, if you are not aware of your consciousness, this includes your surroundings and your whole being and basically your every day life, this implies that you have no direction towards your planned life BUT if you are fully aware of your daily life, from your basic routine to your most random act you will at least have a direction of your life. And as we all know if you have direction you have something to hold on to whenever you feel like you took the wrong road towards your “Emerald City.” Without the personalized direction you paved for yourself you might and will eventually lose your meaning of life, your existence. And this, my online friends, will lead to self-destruction.

Mirage in the Desert

But with the intoxications that surround our every day life it will be too easy to lose both. It will be too easy to lose our identity and our direction. We can be easily consumed by the cheap, shallow, materialistic temptations of modern society. The social media sites that we are all addicted to or at least we all rely on nowadays are filled with pretentious, apathetic people and fabricated information. These online sites also present a blurred distinction between Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs thus taking advantage of human’s already frail reasoning.

What seems to be a harmless exposure to the trends in the community may as well be like a mirage in the desert. Social media sites may present themselves as helping tools that will bring people closer to one another, and to keep the people informed and updated trends, and current affairs of the society but in reality these expose harsh gullibility of people.

Simplicity in an Excessive World

In a world like ours where living a simple life has been more challenging it is becoming a necessity for each individual to learn how to cope up with the ever evolving consumer society we live in. Due to the global economic fluctuations people are now rediscovering the beauty of living frugally. There are now circumstances where people, those who are living even in first-world countries, are forced into a corner to live the frugal life and through this people may slowly inherit or learn again the values that are associated with it.

Throughout the centuries man’s greatest minds have found a link between living a simple life and being a better person. It takes great discipline and perseverance to withdraw from all the material temptations that normally come in with the evolution of mankind.

But we may also find the answer in the evolution of mankind, the very reason why we all clamor for material evidence of our economic growth. Through our evolution we will encounter several life-changing decisions that will have a severe impact on the interconnectedness of human life. These decisions may and will direct us toward the improvement or destruction of our world. If we go to the direction towards destruction then through this fault we will learn how to live a simple life again. But then again, we are still humans and so are future generations, the thirst for something more, for something grand will never subside.

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I

From across the universe you called my restless soul

From an endless wandering called life, you halted my desperate search for meaning

All these infectious lies and distorted reality doomed by my imaginary black hole

Inside my black hole there was you, you who made me feel alive

More alive than the blooming flower rained upon by the morning dew

You’re a shining supernova

You’re a newborn star to my dying universe

II

You let me read your obscure personality

You let me pull you out of your own swirling mud of unsung promises

You let me be your own dose of ecstatic bliss

You let me be your own medication

We built our own youthful glory

We ran into the night and gutted the frightening reality of our might

We were one

We were infinite

III

Maybe I was blinded by you

Maybe I let your glaring beauty envelop my reason

Maybe every thing was too much for us to grasp

We were still together

But I was afraid we were no longer on the same course

A lone mass of blackness

A sulfuric scent of an unwanted being off-coursed your vision

You brought disease to my flawless system

You brought me heart sore and inflated, made-up promises

I was hurting while you were building someone else’s universe

But I was still there

And you came back

We still believed

IV

We came back to our made-up universe

We returned beneath the glimmering sky of sun shine

We embraced our world of doubts and new promises

Inconsistencies cloud our once clear course towards us,

Towards our infinity

We fought the shadows of our wounded past

We suppressed the unnerving psychology of trust and rebuilt

 I am still your unpolished golden lamp

And you are still my perfect imperfect sunshine

Rainy Day Hues

Our world fell apart when we started to grow old; haven’t you noticed?

As the years flew by our screen window we failed to see what was truly going on between our cold fingertips. Our untouched dinner on the table, our unkempt white bed sheets did try to give us a warning. All those seconds passed by were our tears kept and consoling words unsaid. There were numerous times when we were already on the verge of jumping into the unknown abyss, having no clue if we will survive the fall together or we will survive separately. As much as how many times there were uncertain periods in our relationship these were also the number of times that I was tempted to jump alone; to see if I can survive the fall only to be at fault or if I can walk out of the dark and cold abyss to find something new and promising.

You were my lifesaver. You were my anchor, you kept me in place, you were my sanity.

Today as I write this, watching the rain fall and listening to the cars passing by I say to myself you are still my anchor. The problem is I no longer see you as that anchor who keeps me sane, who saves me from being lost at this chaotic sea of human weaknesses. You are an anchor, an anchor that holds me down and stops me from wandering, exploring what else this fragile life of mine has yet to offer. Am I being selfish or hypocrite for wanting freedom from you; from our relationship that once brought me real happiness?

I wanted so long to say these to you but I am afraid that your childish manner will get in the way of your reason and lead us to completely fall apart. I still love you but there are things that I need to know on my own.

I guess it is true that some times love is no longer enough to keep a relationship real. It is heartbreaking to say these words but……..

Ground Control to Major Tom

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Inspirations to get me thru this “overhaul”

After 2-3 years hiatus I finally decided to go back to the thing that helped me get through some major changes in my life. I decided do go back to writing, reading and to listening to music. These three things may sound too “mainstream,” too common but these three things made me realize a thing or two about human’s fragility to love and collectively, about life. It dawned upon me that for me to find myself again and to be inspired I need, I have to go back to these three essential things.

I felt I lost the motivation to live and to laugh. Oh no, I did not think about taking my own life. I just felt I lost the reason to live, that’s all. I no longer felt that urge that fuelled up my emotions so I can compose poems, essays and even short stories. Before, I can compose such write-ups without any hang-ups. I can even make a story out of a lifeless, formless tin can but lately even the most vibrant of sceneries can not make me write even a short poem. I tried but it didn’t feel quite right. I felt something was missing. I felt that what I wrote was a fabrication of something else. It was like someone else wrote it.

Yes, a fabrication. See? It was a fabrication, a reflection of what was or, maybe, still going on inside my mind. I want to go back to my old self when I can just stare into nothingness, listen to independent music and just write down all my emotions and every thing that I see  on a paper without doubting my inner self.

So I hope this first entry will be the start of a new and better journey.

P.S. I am truly excited to do this again!