After 2-3 years hiatus I finally decided to go back to the thing that helped me get through some major changes in my life. I decided do go back to writing, reading and to listening to music. These three things may sound too “mainstream,” too common but these three things made me realize a thing or two about human’s fragility to love and collectively, about life. It dawned upon me that for me to find myself again and to be inspired I need, I have to go back to these three essential things.
I felt I lost the motivation to live and to laugh. Oh no, I did not think about taking my own life. I just felt I lost the reason to live, that’s all. I no longer felt that urge that fuelled up my emotions so I can compose poems, essays and even short stories. Before, I can compose such write-ups without any hang-ups. I can even make a story out of a lifeless, formless tin can but lately even the most vibrant of sceneries can not make me write even a short poem. I tried but it didn’t feel quite right. I felt something was missing. I felt that what I wrote was a fabrication of something else. It was like someone else wrote it.
Yes, a fabrication. See? It was a fabrication, a reflection of what was or, maybe, still going on inside my mind. I want to go back to my old self when I can just stare into nothingness, listen to independent music and just write down all my emotions and every thing that I see on a paper without doubting my inner self.
So I hope this first entry will be the start of a new and better journey.
P.S. I am truly excited to do this again!